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Post by RJ Alden Lackie on Aug 8, 2013 20:34:25 GMT
The Compass Network Presents...
Name: Gamer Girl Written By: Shannon Litt Premise: After athletic teenager Leigh Brackett discovers that she has a rare medical condition, her dreams of being a track star are rendered impossible. In the wake of the diagnosis, Leigh begins to play video games as a distraction... and finds that she may have found a new passion instead. Airdate: August 10, 2013GAMER GIRL Gamer Girl is a Compass-launch exclusive, so please read, review and enjoy! Feel free to discuss the script in this thread, whether a more formal review, some jotted-down reactions, discussion amongst readers, or even just kudos to the author.
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Post by Ian Austin on Aug 10, 2013 13:33:27 GMT
Looking forward to reading this tomorrow. Automatically better than that awful Gamer Girl book some mates got me as a prank birthday gift. With the unicorns and the dazzling glass-eyed Grannies.
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Post by Shannon Litt on Aug 11, 2013 15:18:26 GMT
Wahoo! Thanks Ian Looking forward to stunning you with the opposite of unicorns and dazzling glass-eyes grannies haha
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Post by Ian Austin on Aug 12, 2013 14:09:36 GMT
That was definitely unique.
I think with reviews like this, you can sometimes run into the mistake of reviewing based on initial reaction rather than reviewing based on how well it fulfills genre criteria. This isn't a genre I'm in love with per se, but I think viewing it through the confines of the archetypes involved and the style inherent means it works on a better level than if I merely used my gut reaction. You've done a good job of working within parameters, of telling a story about a teenage girl figuring out her life against a colourful backdrop of idiosyncrasy and downright quirky supporting characters.
What I did like, on both levels, was having a female character who - despite a sped up sense of time developing a game that works cinematically, but not realistically) - actually felt like she enjoyed video games on a non-superficial level. Too often in these sorts of things it's clear the female in question doesn't have a clue what games are in actuality; so you've done a sterling job convincing me Leigh has a decent understand of video games. I also liked that she rarely felt sorry for herself - the conflicts, thusly felt more organic than 'woe is me.'
I felt that some of the character dynamics were a little too sped up (Jules falls for Joshua between scenes, Jules and Leigh become best friends overnight.) Again, the cinematic form demands quickness... but it feels like we're missing a step or two. That might be a script thing though, in casting you'd have a quantifiable chemistry between the actors that'd make this stuff thoroughly moot.
Bonus points for Claire being a terrific character, by the way. Again, too often these sorts of films don't give the supporting cast anything to do. But Claire and Riley have their own mini-arcs that mesh nicely with Leigh's. It never feels like they're simply there as window dressing.
In summary, I think this is a solid genre script. There's a few SPAG errors, and even at 105 pages there's stuff left out that really should have been explored, but I think you've done a good job of scripting within the parameters of the genre. It's not a classic, more a well-executed script that plays on formula and has a nice wit to it.
B
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Post by Shannon Litt on Aug 13, 2013 13:11:06 GMT
Hey hey Ian! Thank you so much for taking the time to read GAMER GIRL and write down your review/critique - I really appreciate it! You gave some really solid points which I'll definitely be incorporating into the next draft. I really would have liked to write something in the action/adventure genre - something along the lines of "Ready Player One" by Ernest Cline specifically. Plus, I'm a big fan of female writers/directors stepping outside their usual confines of drama or comedy. However, I wrote this script for a Telefilm application, which needed the film to be within a budgetof $120,000. In any case, I tried to make the budget-friendly script as quirky and charming as possible. I'm *so* relieved to read your comment about being convinced that the female protagonist genuinely actually enjoys gaming! That was something I was a bit concerned with, to be honest - I didn't feel like I could accurately capture Leigh's love of games without a bigger budget or more time... It's far harder than it seems, as it turns out >.< And yup, Leigh is supposed to be someone who rarely ever lets her guard down - most of what we see is her processing an event and immediately charging to, "How can I solve/fix this?" There's very little "woe is meeee" in her. Again, I think this is my inner (or not so inner, it's pretty clear haha) feminist coming out. You bring up an excellent point that I hadn't even considered regarding sped up character dynamics! I may have to add in a bit more material to convincingly portray Leigh and Jules becoming best friends, although I think the suddenness of Jules and Joshua's relationship is a testament to the quirkiness of their characters. Thoughts? I'm so glad you appreciated Claire as a character!!! Sweet! When I was pitching the script to the Telefilm peeps they wanted to know about Claire's arc - I gave the best answer I could but they still looked confused, so I wondered if it wasn't fleshed out enough. It was so important to me that the supporting cast have their own arcs... I completely agree that most of the time they're just devices for the single protagonist. Again, thank you so much for all your feedback! I genuinely appreciate it I'll be editing the script in the coming weeks (if I can pull myself away from Pokemon HeartGold, which is ridiculously addictive haha) and I'll keep your comments top of mind!
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Post by Ian Austin on Aug 13, 2013 14:01:48 GMT
They were confused? Weird. Seemed pretty straight forward to me.
Kinda works. Some couples balance themselves out in terms of one distant, one affectionate.
Also, very cool that you were doing this for a set budget. It doesn't show in the script itself, which is a testament to it not feeling low budget. I'm sure it could be shot relatively cheap, it doesn't feel like it restricts the story.
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Post by Shannon Litt on Aug 14, 2013 13:27:54 GMT
I know, eh? Sadly in my experience, the gatekeepers for grants and other such desirable things know next to nothing about the actual filmmaking process. It's very ironic.
And sweet! That's awesome to hear. I'm working on a budget-friendly sci-fi script right now, actually — one that I hope to produce next year if things go well. So thank you for the vote of confidence on making a tight budget work!
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